


The Words of Our Past

by Introverted_Mess



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy is so obviously gay, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Depressed Steve, Fluff, Gay Billy Hargrove, Gay Disaster Billy Hargrove, Holiday Fic Exchange, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, Letters, Love Letters, Low-key, M/M, Mentions of the shit that happened in S2, The year is either 1995 or 1996, They talk about them - Freeform, and she's amazing, could these be considered, not towards their daughter to be clear, slight angst, there's another gay couple, they have a daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-11
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:46:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28006395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Introverted_Mess/pseuds/Introverted_Mess
Summary: The fic I wrote for the Harringrove Holiday Fic Exchange of 2020.Steve is going through some old letters he and Billy keep in a shoebox in the trunk in their attic. It's nice to look back and see where they've come.orA series of letters between our boys as their relationship progresses and they both struggle with their newfound feelings for one another, how to deal with them, and as their friendship turns into something more, how to handle the strong emotions neither are used to.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 6
Kudos: 25
Collections: Harringrove Holiday Exchange 2020





	The Words of Our Past

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Winterdwarf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winterdwarf/gifts).



> Hi! I just wanted to say that I am very happy to have participated in this event and give a special thanks to my dear friend Avatar5ever for being my beta reader for this fic. I love her dearly and honestly, you have no idea how much she helped. Thank you, dear.

Harrington, 

Coach wants to pair us together to help teach the middle school team tonight. It’s a punishment for our fight yesterday, apparently. This is the new detention, I guess. Sorry this is all gross and sweaty, just got done with gym class and am writing this in the locker room. Who started the rumors that Jim Petersons has a huge dick? It’s small as fuck, man. God, I hate this place. All of you suck at basketball, you know that? You’re okay, but damn, everyone else is so bad. It’s no surprise we never make it to state, I mean, half our team is five-six. Back in Cali, we’d go to state every year. It got boring. I mean, we left after my sophomore year, but even in junior high, we’d still make it. It’s weird that I miss it now. Count your blessings while you have them and all that, I guess. I don’t know why I’m still writing this, we have like two more minutes until the bell. I can see why chicks like it so damn much, though. It’s...freeing, I guess. Damn. Now I can’t give this to you. Maybe I will. If you’re reading this, I probably have. Write back or whatever, I guess. I don’t give a shit. 

-Hargrove

Hargrove,

Damn. Wasn’t expecting that. Tommy’s an ass, don’t let him get to you. He just wants the attention fights give him. I’ve known him since kindergarten, man, he’s always been like that. Weird that he was my best friend less than two fucking years ago. A lot has changed in two years…Anyway, sucks that Coach wants us to coach the middle schoolers. But, I guess it’s not all bad, at least we’re not on laundry duty. The note you gave me smells like B.O. by the way. It’s super gross, and some of the letters are smudged too. Maybe write with a ballpoint next time. Why you looking at his dick, man? I mean, yeah, it’s noticeably small as fuck, but give the guy some respect. He was on the team before you, fun fact. Showers were a nightmare because none of us could keep in the laughter. Feel kinda bad about it now, though. He’s a nice kid. Anyways, I think he started them, or maybe Cory. Heard that they’re queer for each other at some point. Don’t diss the team, we almost went to state last year. Granted, yes, it was thanks to you, but just let them at least try. And damn, never thought I’d live to see the day where you give me a semi-compliment. Thanks, man. I bet you guys did, go to state that is. I wish I could go to state, just once, to feel the thrill. Even if we lost--we probably would--I’d be okay with it. I see what you mean. About the whole writing thing. It is freeing, almost, now that I’m actually writing. I never really got why girls do the whole note thing. I mean, Nancy and I did it while we were together, but other than that...I understand now, is what I’m saying. I’m in English right now, and Mrs. Franklin is just so ugh. You know? Shit, she’s looking, I’ll see you later, man.

-Harrington

Harrington,

I have your stupid sunglasses, Pretty Boy. I’ll be by my car after school so you can grab them. You left them in the gym yesterday, completely forgotten. You going to the party tonight? Heard there’s gonna be weed if you weren’t going. I don’t know...you ever feel like all this is pointless? Like our social positions don’t matter after all this. I mean. They don’t. You’ve figured that out already though, haven’t you? I bet it’s why you didn’t fight me for your throne, King Steve. I understand, though. It’s hard to be on the top. I might not go to the party. I’m not sure. About Jim and Cory. Where the hell did you hear that? I wonder if they really are, I mean...dude, it’d make sense. A lot of sense. State isn’t as interesting as you think, Princess. It’s just a normal game. I guess you’d feel the thrill, though. You’d feel accomplished, I bet. I never got that. We always made it, so I didn’t really have a goal. This better not become a whole thing, Harrington, I just wrote you that first note to let you know we’d be working together so I didn’t have to talk to you. That’s it. It got out of hand, then you responded and now I’m responding back. DO NOT RESPOND! If this becomes a thing, rumors’ll spread and I can’t have my precious reputation tarnished by your tendency to be more girly than the Wheeler chick. 

-Hargrove 

P.S. I’ll kill you if you respond

Blond Dallas,

Just watched The Outsiders, if you couldn’t tell. You’re a lot like Dally, by the way. Oh shit, I just remembered you told me not to respond. Oh well, I’m already here. Just, if you do kill me, make sure not to damage me too badly, I do want an open casket funeral. Anyway, you remind me so much of Dally. It’s almost sad...We watched the movie in, you guessed it, English with Mrs. Franklin. Ugh. It was good though, really good. I connected to the characters pretty okay, I mean, not to the level that I’m sure you do, but I don’t know...it gave me insight on how things can be for other people, I guess. Did you end up going to that party on Friday? I didn’t, so I don’t know if you did. You’re right about none of this shit mattering when we graduate, by the way. You’re also right about why I kinda just let you take my crown. What’s up with the bruise on your face, by the way? Did you get that at the party? Was it a fight? The stupid Freshmen are whispering about it in the halls, they all think you got punched by Jim for calling him a fag. That’s not true, is it? Because, dude, that’s such an asshole move, even for you. Even if it were true, as much as an asshole as you are, I don’t think you’d kick someone who’s already down, you know? Like, if he was queer, it’d be such an asshole move to call him that when he’s probably already dealing with a lot of shit. I mean, I would be dealing with a hell of a lot if I were him. Having to deal with keeping it hidden, making sure that you don’t get caught with someone. It’d suck such a big dick, man. I don’t know. This class is boring as hell and I don’t have anything better to write about, I guess. Here, have a reenactment of what I hear Mr. Holler saying in class to lighten the mood. 

Mr. H: In 1492, Christopher Columbus discovered America, blah blah blah, I have a small dick, blah blah, my wife is cheating on me, blah blah blah, my life is shit and I want to kill myself.

- ~~Steve~~ More Handsome Sodapop

Harrington,

I told you to stop writing. Damnit, now I have to respond. One: I’m a way cooler version of Dally. Two: No, I didn’t go. Three: ~~My dad~~ None of your damn business, Pretty Boy. Four: No, I didn’t call Jim a fag, you’re right, I wouldn’t stoop that low. ~~Five: Yeah, it is fucking hard on you to keep that secret. I would know.~~ Five: Holler’s class isn’t that boring if you just pay attention and take notes, you dumbass. See? I responded in a short and concise paragraph. It can be done, Harrington. Take notes so you don’t send me a damn two-page essay in that God-awful handwriting of yours next time because I know you will. You just don’t know how to listen, do you, Pretty Boy? 

-Hargrove

P.S. Soda is way more attractive than you, so don’t even try to compare yourself to him, Princess. Besides, you’re way more like Cherry, mister prep.

Billy, 

There, I did it. I put your name down. Are we there? Can I do that? Hey, what’s with that one line that was entirely blacked out with a Sharpie? You’re probably not going to tell me, but I’ll ask anyway, I guess. I absolutely do not write that long of letters, Hargrove. You know what? Just for that, I’m not going to address you as ‘Billy’ anymore. As for your little educational tips: Listen, man, Holler’s class is awful, I can’t. I just can’t pay attention for the life of me while he’s droning on about whatever. It’s so bad, man. Also, how fucking dare you tell me that I’m less attractive than Rob Lowe? I’m so much sexier, ask any girl. I dare you. And you’re comparing me to a girl? Oh well, I love her so I guess I’m not too mad about that. Here’s a question: why don’t we talk in real life? Is it because paper’s easier? Because we don’t have to see each other face-to-face while talking like friends? I mean, I’m interested in becoming something like friends, I guess. You’re kinda cool when you’re not mad. It’s like I’m reading a part of you that you don’t show anyone else. At least, I haven’t seen you show anyone else the part of you that’s seen The Outsiders. Listen, man, all I’m meaning to say is that I have good grass--probably not as good as the stuff you used to smoke, but still good--and I’m heading to the quarry tonight around midnight. Your choice if you wanna come or not.

-Steve

P.S. Should this be anonymous just in case? Oh well, can’t change it, I guess. 

Harrington,

You’re right, I’m not going to tell you, I don’t know why I wrote it so I blobbed it out. You’re a drama queen, Pretty Boy, anyone ever tell you that? I mean, all I did was point out that you’re practically handing me poorly written essays, and you’re not even gonna use my name anymore? It’s too bad, I bet it’d sound real pretty coming from that mouth of yours. I just asked the girl next to me (I’m in honors chem 2) to choose between you and Rob Lowe. Guess who she picked. Rob Lowe without hesitation. I’m trying so hard not to laugh that Mr. Larson is giving me a dirty look. I’ll see you at the Quarry, Princess, I think he’s gonna come over here if I don’t stop writing soon.

-B

P.S. Next time, yes, make it anon. Don’t wanna get caught.

B,

I meant to say this Friday night, but maybe you’ll be more likely to say yes like this. If you ever need somewhere to stay or someone to go to after your dad’s been an asshole to you, come over. My house is always empty ~~and I’m lonely~~ and I have ~~too many~~ plenty of extra rooms for you to stay in if you ever needed to. Mom and Dad are hardly ever home, so it’d just be us. I’m serious, I wanna be there for you, man. I’m starting to actually like you. Anyway, enough with the serious shit. I’m in Larson’s normal chem2 class and he’s extra monotonous today, like seriously. It’s bad. I don’t think he had his coffee this morning. Nancy’s still avoiding me. Still clinging to Byers like a fucking koala. I hate it. I hate her. No, I don’t. Fuck, emotions are so weird. She called me bullshit. A shitty boyfriend. Said our relationship was bullshit. That she didn’t really love me. That it was all fake. I just...I don’t know. It’s been almost six months. I should be over it, it’s just...I’m not, I don’t think. Or maybe I don’t have anyone else so I’ve convinced myself I’m still hung up on her. It’s probably the last one. Shit, man, I didn’t mean for this to get so heavy, I’m sorry, I just... ~~I didn’t sleep last night~~ today’s not a great day for me, I guess. 

-S

S,

Yeah, okay, I’ll come over if I need somewhere to go. I had Larson a few classes ago and you’re right. He’s like a robot. It sounds like you really need to get laid, Pretty Boy. You’re not bullshit, you’re one of the nicest guys I’ve met in this stupid town. If anything, she’s bullshit, man. She led you on for what, a year? You don’t deserve her. Don’t give her the satisfaction of being hung up on her when she couldn’t give you shit for loving her for a fucking year. Don’t worry about your last note getting heavy, or even future notes getting heavy. I have those days too. I heard that Tommy got in a fight with Jim this morning in the parking lot. Apparently, Tommy was picking on--you guessed it--Cory for being queer, and Jim walked up and planted a good one on Hagan’s nose, breaking it. They’re both suspended for a while. Just makes you think, I guess. If they are queer for each other, then damn, they must seriously care for one another to do that. I mean, they could be friends, but, that plus the rumors...maybe they are. ~~Maybe we can be too?~~ Again, if they are, it sucks that this is a fucking small town in fucking Indiana. Can’t get more bigoted than that. 

-B

P.S. Max got a new skateboard for her birthday over the weekend. I know it’s from you. Thanks, she loves it. 

Dallas,

Or should I just call you ‘Dally?’ I dunno, I was in foods last class, so now I smell like shitty stir fry. I hate it. So, Cory and Jim are definitely queer. I caught them last night at the quarry when I went down for a smoke and to contemplate my existence, you know, the usual shit. Anyway, they were making out pretty hard, when they saw me, Jim looked like he was preparing for another fight. It’s sad, almost. I told ‘em I didn’t care, because ~~I think I might be too~~ I don’t, and that I’d let ‘em be. So I did and found a new spot to think at. Ended up being at the junkyard ~~I think I had a panic attack, Billy, I have so many bad memories there~~. So yeah, not much happened last night. Kinda missed you, to be honest. Come over tonight, if you can, I have some shitty movies we can watch while we drink some of the beers I bought a few weeks ago ~~and maybe kiss like Jim and Cory were~~. Study hall is boring as fuck. Bell’s gonna ring, though, so, that’s the end of this note. I’ll see you later, B, maybe tonight even.

-Soda

Steve,

Alright, well that puts an end to that mystery. Good for them, at least they have each other, right? ~~Kinda like you and me, it’s us against the world~~. I’ll come over tonight, then. Around tenish depending on when Neil goes to bed and falls asleep. You don’t smell that bad, by the way, I’ve definitely smelt worse. What are you doing in a foods class, anyway? Easy A? I thought you already knew how to cook well, if the food you make when I come over is anything to go by. Franklin really isn’t having it today. Keeps glaring at me. What did I ever do to you, you old bat? Did something happen in the class before mine? You have that class, right? Tell me at the arcade when we’re dropping off the kids.

-Billy

B,

We need to talk about what happened. I’m not mad, please just talk to me. Don’t let this ruin what we have. It’s not that big of a deal, B. Just, after school, meet me at the quarry after we drop off the kids. Please. I’m not mad, the opposite actually, I’m...I’m really attracted to you, like, a lot. So….yeah, I think I’m bisexual and it’s your fault you ass. Please talk to me. 

-S

S,

I...alright. I’ll see you at the quarry, just, I’ll kill you if this is a joke and you tell everyone. I’m serious. You know I am. We’ll talk about it. 

-B

Dally,

Hey, come over tonight. I really need some company if you catch my drift. Some stuff happened with my parents is all. No need to worry, they’re just being complete assholes. They’re not home right now, just left actually. Again. I try not to let it bother me, but it’s difficult when I’ve been alone since I was a kid. I...just come over if you can, please? I need an ear. 

-Soda

Stevie,

Yeah, I’ll be there. You don’t need to worry about being alone anymore, by the way. I’m here for you now, and I’ll be here for you as long as you need me or want me. Your parents are shit and you deserve way better than them. Until then: I’ll see you at the arcade with the kids, alright? I’ve never done relationship stuff--well, I have, but you know how that ended--so I’m new to this, but I’ll try my best for you because that’s what you deserve. My best. Probably more than that, but it’s what I have to give and I’ll continue giving it as long as you continue to want me. I’ll see you soon, baby. 

-B

B,

Hey, did you see what happened to Tommy? Looks like he got into some serious shit with someone. You didn’t have anything to do with it, did you? You better not have. Anyways: Holy fuck, Mr. Hollar is more boring than usual today. It’s so bad. “And then by the sixteenth century, we can see how the Catholic church grew more and more corrupt blah blah blah.” I hate this stupid class, so happy I’m graduating this year.

-S

S,

He was being an ass and I lost my temper. Be happy that nothing happened to my gorgeous face ;) Besides, what’re you gonna do to me for punching a kid when he starts trashing my boyfriend? Princess, I was protecting your dignity. Anyway, what did I say about taking notes in his class? It really helps. I know you’re excited to graduate, I’m excited for you, but you gotta pass the classes you’re taking to graduate, Pretty Boy. Just a few more months, you’ll be fine, promise. ~~I...I love you, Stevie~~ NOPE, nope, scribbling that out with sharpie. Sorry, sweetcheeks, you’re not going to get what that says. Hey, I’ll come over tonight, alright? ♡

-B

P.S. Ew, you’re turning me mushy, I hate you

B, 

Hey, just wanted to say that I love you too. You left before I could say it back last night. I know you’re worried about our future together, but you don’t need to. I’m gonna stay here until you graduate and then I’ll go with you to wherever you’re going for college, I know that you’re gonna make it somewhere, baby. You’re way too smart to be rejected. I’m sticking by your side for as long as you want me too, just like you are with me. I love you, Billy. I really do. 

-S

P.S. So you don’t feel lonely about getting mushy ♡

Stevie,

Shit, Pretty Boy, you’re such a fucking sap, oh my God. I’m sorry about leaving last night, by the way, I was just...I was scared, you know that and you know why. I do love you though, more than anything. Anyways, you wanna catch a movie with me later? I’m thinking about going while the kids are at the arcade. God, Mrs. Franklin is being worse than usual. I think she and her husband fought last night, she’s not wearing her wedding ring. Maybe she threw it at him like they do in those stupid soap operas Susan watches. Do you think she kicked him out? Or maybe she just lost it and I’m spewing complete bullshit. Either could be a valid possibility. Has she assigned the fucking essay on what could be considered a symbol in Lord of The Flies to you yet? It’s so annoying, it’s gonna be such a bitch to write. Symbols are absolute bullshit, by the way, they’re completely subjective and should therefore not be something to grade an essay on. Jesus Christ. I gotta go, bell’s about to ring. Love you.

-B

P.S. You’re such an idiot

Billy,

Good luck on your test, I love you!

-Steve

Steve,

Hey, use the walkie talkies tonight if you need to talk. I know your parents are back in town. I’ll come over as soon as they leave, I promise. It’s just a few days. 

-Billy

B,

Shit, Bills, did Neil do that to you? Fuck, I wanna kill him. You don’t deserve to be hurt like that, especially by your own Goddamn father. Fucking hate him. Fuck. Ugh, I’m so pissed right now. 

-Stevie

Steve,

Congrats on graduating, idiot. Love you, I’ll see you tonight, I have a special surprise for you ;)

-Billy

Billy,

A year to go, baby, then we’re out of here. Hey, by the way, I saw you at the pool the other day. You are extremely sexy in that uniform.

-Steve

Billy looks over at his boyfriend from the box of letters on the coffee table in front of him. Steve had just sat down next to him, resting his head on Billy’s arm, a cup of hot chocolate in his hands. He leans into Steve’s touch, listening to him breathe for a few minutes. He remembered high school well, especially those months before Steve’s graduation when they were figuring things out. The notes they’d found in an old trunk they’d been keeping in the attic just added to those memories. 

“They got shorter over time,” he murmurs, putting down the final worn sheet of loose-leaf paper on the table.

“We got to talk to each other in person more,” Steve says softly, taking a sip of his drink. “You were practically living at my house by the time I graduated,” he remembers, leaning forward to take the first note. “How did I not notice you were gay when within the first five sentences of the first note you wrote me you mentioned the size of another boy’s dick?” He asks, causing Billy to blush, which in turn makes Steve chuckle fondly.

It was hard to believe it’d been over a decade since they’d initially gotten together. The kids were all in their mid-twenties now. Married, or in a committed relationship. Nancy and Jonathan were having their third kid soon, and Mike’s wife was due in a few months. Holly was driving now and a junior in high school. It didn’t feel like much time had gone by, but so much had changed. 

“Daddy! I want ice cream and Belle!” 

Right. Not everything had gone to plan. They’d gone on a break for a few years while Billy went through college, Steve having realized he wasn’t quite ready to abandon Hawkins yet. It was alright though. Billy knew Steve loved Sarah more than anything, even if she wasn’t his. Billy had a few one-night stands while alone in Cali. One of them resulted in Sarah, her mother wanting nothing to do with her, though, and Billy was perfectly fine with that. After he graduated and Sarah was born, he moved back to Hawkins and found Steve again. They picked up where they left off as if nothing had happened and Steve had immediately fallen in love with Billy’s daughter. Their daughter. 

Billy laughs softly and gets up, picking up their six-year-old. She’s a kindergartener now. That’s also hard to believe. 

“Alright, pumpkin, I’ll put on Belle, but instead of ice cream, let’s have some popcorn, okay?” It was a healthier option, but one she’d still like.

Steve looks at them fondly, taking another sip of his drink. “I think we should have ice cream,” he said, making Billy glare at him.

Sarah squeals loudly in Billy’s ear, making him wince, and wriggles out of his arms. She jumps in excitement, energy radiating off her. 

“Fine, we’ll have ice cream,” he mutters, ignoring Steve’s laugh from the couch, he’d get back at him at some point tonight. “Hey, Saz?” He asks, kneeling down in front of his daughter. “I think Papa really really wants you to hug him and tell him all about what happens in Belle,” he says, grinning. She beams and moves to launch herself at her second father, who barely has enough time to set down his steaming drink before she tackles him. 

Billy feels his chest warm as he watches them. This is it, he thinks, this is the future he never thought he’d have, but he has it now. Maybe they _should_ have ice cream tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. Make sure to leave a kudos if you liked it and a comment or two for feedback or praise. I'm not picky ;D


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